When your child struggles to settle at bedtime

Your child is tired, but settling is difficult. You’re ready for the day to end, yet they seem to find another burst of energy.

Before adding another bedtime strategy, it can help to look at what happens before you ask them to sleep.

Help the evening slow down first

Children’s bodies have natural systems that regulate sleep and wakefulness. The signals around them help support the transition towards rest.

But in a busy home, screens, games and activity can continue until bedtime. We then ask a child to move quickly from being stimulated and engaged to being quiet and ready to sleep.

They may need more time—and clearer cues—to make that transition.

A predictable sequence of quieter activities can help. Putting screens away, finishing energetic play and reading together give the evening a different rhythm.¹

In my work, I’ve seen how a small adjustment can make a meaningful difference when it responds to what a child needs. The aim is to create conditions that make settling easier, without adding pressure to fall asleep.

Start with one manageable change

Think about the final hour before bed. What’s still keeping your child engaged or excited? Where could the evening become quieter or simpler?

Choose one change you can comfortably repeat. For example:

• Put screens away an hour before bedtime.¹
• Move energetic play earlier in the evening.
• Make a shared story a familiar part of winding down.

You might also try gently slowing your own pace—moving a little more slowly and speaking a little more softly. Think of it as offering a quieter rhythm your child can settle into, rather than another thing you need to get right.

You can guide the evening with warmth and clear boundaries. Your child doesn’t have to decide when the day ends, and falling asleep doesn’t need to become a test they must pass.

If you’re exhausted yourself, keep the starting point small. You don’t need to create a perfect evening.

Children’s sleep difficulties can have several contributors, so these adjustments won’t resolve every problem.¹ But noticing the cues your child receives is a useful place to begin.

Rather than asking only, “How do I get my child to sleep?”, consider: “How can I help the evening become ready for sleep?”